The last gas station on earth

The Pontiac thumped over a pothole and Frank watched the fuel gauge lift then settle on 'Empty' again. "Fuck it," he breathed and hit the steering wheel hard. They had passed a Texaco 10 miles back and were now running on vapour. "Look," cried Paula, "Gas ahead!" She launched her finger toward a run-down gas station and general store in the distance.

Frank pulled onto the cracked cement beside a solitary ancient pump. Is that gas or paraffin he wondered. His gaze took in the peeling paint, ice machine and an ages old Coca Cola sign hanging by one screw. "Stay here Paula." He shut the car door slowly and stepped past a deck chair faded and stained with age. Through the window past the hand-written 'Open' sign he could make out an old boy, a wad of chewing tobacco in his cheek.

A bell clanged loudly as he pushed the door and somewhere out back a dog started barking gruffly and ominously. The skeletal figure waved a thin hand and in a barely intelligible accent rattled, "If it's gas you want, go through and talk to Billy." A fly buzzed in Frank's ear and he slapped it away as he nodded, "Thanks."

In the back sat Billy and three friends grinning with menace. A rotting Plymouth Fury sitting up on bricks was visible in the back yard and a German Shepherd sat in its shade, tongue out panting. Frank thought of Paula sitting in the Pontiac holding the battery powered fan to her pretty face.

Suddenly Billy shrieked, "It's party time!" His pals stood up, chair legs scraping on the bare wood floor. Frank turned and saw his way back blocked by the muzzle of a 12-bore shot gun in the hands of the old boy. As his eyes darted frantically for another exit he heard Paula shouting. The shout became a siren winding up to full scream. Then silence.

"You fucking bastards! What have you done?" The gun barrel pushed closer and touched his temple. Frank screwed his eyes shut and a sharp metallic click rang out. When Frank opened them Paula was sitting in the passenger seat of the Pontiac lighting a cigarette and smiling. "Wake up hon', rest over. We need to drive on and get that gas now or we ain't never gonna make it to Huntsville!"

The wanderer returns

My preoccupation with the recent USA road trip is likely to reveal itself in the next few posts so bear with me while I get it out of my system. Look out for discussions and observations on the similarities and differences between our countries. There are a lot of photos to see if you are curious.

Undertaking a journey 4,220 miles from home spread across 4 states, 6 hotels and 2 time zones on unfamiliar roads was always likely to be a severe test! You know my virgo quest for perfection by now so imagine my irritation when things didn't go quite according to plan. Truth is I only missed perfection by a whisker but that's not good enough for me. It's a tough way to live life and most virgos will know what I mean.

 

I have already recounted the saga of the interstate-side hotel which set my early mood. Then I was reminded that Mrs Virgo doesn't know east from west so I drove with maps on my knee and one eye on the road. A recipe for missed exits, wrong turns and general tension. After a week of issuing verbal lashings to all other road-users (from the safety of my car of course) I gradually calmed down a little. By the way, does anyone know about all those Mexican migrant workers involved in construction and highway maintenance?

 

We all know about glitzy Orlando so you can guess we ate and shopped well there. Most days we took day trips (see earlier re Merritt Island) and the highlight for me was Kennedy Space Centre. It is a genuinely awe-inspiring place. The geography, the exhibits, the buildings and the aura of human achievement are all on a truly epic scale.

 

*****

 

We drove from Orlando to Tallahassee and spent one night there before tracking Northwest. 'Alabama the Beautiful' lived up to its name. Green fields, brick red soil and gentle pine-clad hills. Beautiful ranches with black stallions and white rail fences sat in close proximity to wooded trailor parks littered with junk, ugly dogs and rusty cars. 'Rick' at the state line Information Centre was a REAL talker! Montgomery felt very relaxed compared to the tourist trails of Florida and the people were warm and genuinely friendly. A lady assistant in Radio Shack shook me warmly by the hand (I really thought she was going to hug me!)

 

*****

 

Crossing the border into Tennessee brought hillier terrain and wall to wall fireworks advertisements! The geography reminded me of the Rhone-Alpes region of southern France on the Italian border. Chattanooga was a hot 78F and dusty with yellow tree pollen. The only place that trusts you to pump gas and not make a dash for it seems to be Wal-Mart. If you are paying cash everywhere else insists on pre-payment. Interesting as the stuff is cheaper than water and they would let you pump $80 worth in the UK without suspicion.

 

No answer from the boys when we rang home, out partying no doubt! I got Mike on his mobile eventually. Even 40c per minute for an International mobile call is great! That would be 45c per minute in the UK just for an inland mobile call. Here we go then, rip-off Britain time: Satellite TV $75 per month, Broadband $35 per month, gas $7 per gallon etc, etc, etc...

 

Nashville proved to be very well worth the 250 mile round day-trip, There is a nice mix of old and new architecture and we saw a good deal of urban regeneration underway. Of course I loved the live music bars on Broadway and visited some of those recommended by Superfly. Great performers all! A tall pretty woman came and sat beside me in 'Roberts.' She introduced herself as 'Misty' on vacation from Waco Texas. Between songs we had a very interesting conversation and she never guessed the woman to my right was my wife!

*****

We drove on County roads from Chattanooga to Atlanta under intermittent rain. On our last evening we took a drive through the leafy suburbs of Lilburn and Duluth. Houses and roads were surprisingly reminiscent of English styles. I was very hungry indeed and sweet relief came when I found a 4th branch of my favourite 'Sweet Tomatoes' vegetarian restaurant right by the Gwinnett Place Mall. The American lifestyle does not pander much to vegetarians. In fact my picky eating habits have dispensed with another 5 pounds which I can ill afford to lose.

 

We spent our final morning at the small but pretty Atlanta Zoo. All too soon it was time to head for the airport and hand back the car. We checked in early to find the plane was way over-booked and we were offered $400 to stay another night at the expense of British Airways. Work commitments scuppered that opportunity! Maybe next time.

 

In honesty I bit off more than I could comfortably chew this time. Can you believe I had already trimmed the itinerary from 5 states to 4! 2501 miles in 13 days was too much. Next time I will be wiser and maybe even stay in one place long enough to smile!

Nashville Tennessee

Have to be really quick they only gave me thirty minutes in this library and I've used twenty already! Been to the Country Music Hall of Fame, bit of a rip-off really. Nice walk around downtown with the camera. Bought loads of tacky souvenirs. Off to check out some of Superfly's recommended blues bars this afternoon.

Traffic was grim this morning. Stuck behind an accident and it was raining. I missed our exit so threw away my driving notes and had to chance it. Still we made it OK and I only used mild to moderate profanities!. A quiet day back in Chattanooga tomorrow, the only plan is a walk on Lookout Mountain.

May not get another chance to post before we go home so thanks for stopping by and see you all Sunday.

Chattanooga Choo Choo

Yesterday we drove on deserted county roads from Montgomery AL to Chattanooga TN. Took six hours instead of four but we got to see some amazing things. What a beautiful state. You know the classic TV portrayal of run-down gas staions with a beaten up coke dispenser, a dog and one gas pump? Well we saw them by the load! Needless to say I wouldn't stop for gas!! (I'm not stupid, I've seen films like "Wrong Turn" and "Texas Chainsaw Massacre!" Much more on those experiences later when I return.

We slept in a Days Inn in Tiftonia just outside Chattanooga last night and this morning we drove into town. We jumped on a free electric trolley and four stops later I grabbed Mrs Virgo and said "We're jumping off at the Library!!" She has gone wandering and I'm sitting in front of a PC with free internet access. I guess when I'm done here we will have to go and see that ridiculous train for which the town is famous!

Tomorrow we plan to go to Nashville TN, it is roughly two hours drive away. I'll try and seek out some blues joints (I'm not a country fan!) for live entertainment. I believe Gibson have a guitar factory there so we might pop in there and see them being made. This car guzzles gas at nineteen miles per gallon so I'm filling up almost every day! It holds about fifteen gallons which costs thirty dollars (about sixteen pounds sterling, that would cost nearly fifty pounds sterling in the UK)

The weather has cooled from 85F in Florida to 75F in Alabama and now 70F here in Tennessee. Hope you guys in the UK have got your woolly jumpers on!

Canaveral National Seashore

I drove alone to the Atlantic coast of Florida today. Mrs Virgo needed to stay close to the ladies' room all day (got the painters in) and I was very happy with my own company anyway. Cape Canaveral is a wild, remote place and you can quite see why NASA chose it to launch rockets from.

I drove from Titusville northwards and stopped at several walking trails. The place was deserted - no one here seems interested in walking! I saw flamingos, great blue herons and bald eagles. In a quiet lagoon I spotted ten or twelve manatees. They were rolling over slowly in the warm shallow water and surfacing occasionally to breath. I always knew they were around here but I've not seen them in the wild before.

Unfortunately I took a wrong turn on Merritt Island and found myself at a NASA badge-holders only checkpoint!! When the NASA security man says "Step out of the car, sir," he really means it. Oh, and he has a gun to prove the point! Actually he was cool about it and gave me directions to the Merritt Island Nature Reserve Visitors Centre (after admiring my amazing blue Oakley Straightjackets!)

The new hotel is nice and quiet, well away from the road. Comfortable and clean and as much breakfast as you can force down! I even used the complimentary gym last night! My heart-rate reached one hundred and forty per minute after a session on the treadmill and exercise bike.

I am wondering if I will need to buy a second suitcase to take home all the shopping? Four pairs of Levis a pair of Reeboks and several T-shirts take up rather a lot of space. Anyway, Mrs virgo is currently buying a pair of Sketchers and I'm supposed to be in a Barnes and Noble looking for maps so I can't hang around long! What a good job I remembered to print off my secret list of user names and passwords! If I find another cafe elsewhere I'll try to check in again.

Driving an American car

I hope my American friends won't be too offended by this little observation on driving in the USA. Americans are polite, charming, genuine and generous. Occasionally they are loud and demanding. Yet they are always open and talkative. Right now I'll cut to the chase...

When some get behind the wheel of a car things change. The multi-lane highway becomes a lane-hopping video game. The object of this game seems to be to drive at full speed until your lane starts to slow down. Then switch without warning or indication into any lane still moving. Repeat until all lanes are stationary. Now take your foot off the brake and edge forward in lurches to intimidate the driver ahead. Hell I'm in Orlando right now what should I expect?!

My English driving education taught me to make courteous gestures to other road users, wave them out if they are waiting to join the road, leave a sensible distance between me and the next car and drive at or only marginally over the speed limit!

They say "When in Rome do as the Romans do" so from now on I plan to start weaving in and out and using my horn loud and long. I guess I'll fit right in!!

I have a V6 Pontiac Grand Am in bronze. It goes. However I am used to organising my driving all by myself. For now I am having to get used to the following:

Shut door
Buckle up seatbelt
Insert key
Switch on
Engage 'Drive'
Release handbrake
(Lights snap on automatically at dusk)

Any deviation from this rigid schedule results in an electronic chastisement, "ding, ding, ding..." Call me old fashioned but sometimes I like to get going and then put on my seatbelt. Sometimes I release the handbrake before slipping the key in. No chance.. "ding, ding, ding..." This car is so reproachful!!

Anyway my time's running out in the Cyber Shack Cafe and I still need to quote some lyrics without the safety net of my music library. I'm off, Bye!

"I been drivin' all night man sweat on the wheel."
Golden Earring - Radar Love

Found a cyber cafe...

Badass Cafe on International Drive, Orlando has internet access! I really am no good at relaxing for a holiday. I expend so much effort in organising that I have no energy for the event itself. So far I have spent five days in a state of lethargy hardly able to even converse. Only minor things have gone wrong but as usual I blow them up out of proportion.

I so badly want perfection that I get inwardly angry at the slightest setback. Here's a good example: we checked out of a hotel today three days early because it's barely forty yards from I4 and we can't sleep. Mrs virgo is trying to have a good time but I am sulking. I have told her I will start speaking again maybe next week, I'm not joking.

Yesterday we went to Kennedy Space Centre and I began to perk up. What an amazing place! I went there about four years ago but it warrants revisiting. An awe-inspiring and humbling location. Tomorrow we go back to Merritt Island for a walk through the nature reserve. First I need to find a new hotel though. Somewhere quiet.

I only have an hour for $12 and there's e-mail I want to send so I'll keep this brief. I really will try very hard to cheer up I promise.