This was intended to be my farewell post but a middle-of-the-night, soul-searching wrangle drew me to change my mind. My normally right-way-up world has been spinning topsy-turvy. I put mountains of emotion into this effort and it wears me thin. I need to ration my time and make room for matters which are very important to me. I will be posting less frequently and taking breaks for I need to step back a little. I will enjoy each comment as I always have but I cannot commit to replying individually. I have my muse and need time to stretch and flex in private.
15 July 2006
06 July 2006
Muscle and bone, just a routine miracle in carbon and water
stardust capable of greatness but condemned to obscurity.
Notionally intelligent while screaming insane.
Excuse me while I break my own heart.
Gimme a bitter placebo or slip me a strong panacea.
Just gimme pretend meds to mend my pretend head,
a wasted waster wasting his decades.
Excuse me while I numb my own heart.
Stinging tears screamed and howled away on racing rubber.
Needle reaches vertical and my knee trails the blacktop
leaning hard into a long fast bend.
Excuse me while I smash my own heart.
An ocean evening hot and humid, deep and tight, wet and smooth,
shuddering. Sparkling waves, deliciously soft pressing sand.
Rolling to stare at the cold "maybe" stars.
Excuse me while I stamp on my heart.
Biting the top off a bottle would be so fucking simple.
Calendar, yearbook, milestones and pledges swallowed.
A screeching halt at the precipice edge.
Excuse me while I consider my heart.
"There goes my hero, he’s ordinary…"
Foo Fighters - My Hero