17 November 2008

end of an amazing chapter

Those who visited Michelle's previous blog and have read between the lines on here will know I have made a decision which affects the lives of a number of people. I will be returning to England at the end of this month. This decision has been one of the hardest of my life and one that I have thrashed round in my head endlessly.

The bottom line is I can't be happy in my new life and that is not fair on those closest to me. I will be leaving behind a little daughter and a young wife who somehow will manage in my absence. That is the way things happen. I am distinctly un-proud of myself and feel I have let many people down, not least Michelle and Maisie. That is a dramatic understatement, however, we are adults and rational, so remain friends.

l hope to rekindle my relationship with my two grown sons and start on a new path of quiet and calm. My exercise regime is injecting sufficient endorphins to keep gloom at bay although there are some bleak times. I have a new road bike waiting my return and will pedal my way to new horizons.

Fare well friends and "see you on the other side."


Gordie said...

I admit, I feel very sad that this chapter of your life is coming to an end, not least because I admired your courage and envied your riches. But I hope to be able to see you in Devon or Dorset, and be with you in your next chapter (or grumbling appendix).

C.J.Duffy said...

Awful, awful news but, and without being patronising here, I think I understand. I do not think that I am capable of starting over in the way you tried. I still think that you are a very brave man for making the attempt. I have nothing but respect for you and hope that somehow you can bring your two worlds, if not together, then closer. Not just for your sake but for Michelle's and Maisie's.

Have a safe journey. Give me a call whenever you feel the need. I work in Tadworth, Surrey now, so it isn't a million miles away.

Cheers mate.

Perfect Virgo said...

Gordie - thanks for your thoughts. I am very sad too. I arrived brimful of optimism but it slowly drained away. See you in the next chapter.

CJ - thanks for your support mate. I do know you are able to understand. I guess I was brave, looking back. We are all capable of extraordinary things when the occasion demands.

I am struggling to see how I will bridge this gap I have created, maybe I can't. I will be delighted to meet you in either Surrey or London. I will indeed call you.

Grace said...

Hey, have a safe trip back. You tried and thats admirable. May see you if I get down South :-)

GeL (Emerald Eyes) said...

CJ already said it best, but I echo his sentiments. To change ones life the way you did by starting over took in a new land and culture, leaving your English family, I feel strengthened you in addition to the glorious love you found with Michelle. I wish you the very best in returning to familiar surroundings.

I am saddened that "love did not conquer all", but happy that you have a new daughter and ties are still friendly.

I still wish that circumstances had allowed us to meet here in the states. You have my respect for your courage, compassion, and more.

Take care. I'm glad you have "new" friends like CJ to see in England.

Best wishes,

fathorse said...

Back to Blighty?

These people have said all that needs be said, I think. Life eh? I'm looking forward to it...

On the plus side, the word verification says "Pastarama"...

Good luck on the next stage of your grand adventure!