16 February 2009

home is where the heart is

I run the risk that no one is interested or worse, disapproves, but the time has come to announce my return to Canada. Since the beginning of last December I have been living back in England. On one hand this has been a glorious opportunity to see my two grown sons, to live with my eldest son and enjoy his company. On the other hand, it has been an agonising period of absence from Michelle and Maisie. At first it was a divinely providential opportunity to be with my sons and support them while they mourned their mum, Debbie’s grave illness, but it immediately became apparent to me that I had made a worrying mistake.

It is not that I regret being with these two upright and positive young men, far from it; nor that I regret being at Debbie’s hospital bedside while she silently fought the deadly infection which poisoned her, reduced her to a shadow of the woman I spent thirty years with and came close to ending her time, far from it again. It is that I regret my hasty conviction in making this a permanent return. I should have allowed a proper dialogue in Canada; I should have listened; I should have stepped up to the mark; I should have realised the immense worth of what I was destroying.

After thrashing and deliberating, fretting and considering, I wrote, despite fearing the response. To cut a long story short and to spare the personal and excruciating details of many long-distance conversations I/we have reached my/our current position. I am deliberately removing the agony from this episode and also the ecstasy, for they are private emotions special to the participants.

On 27th February I fly from British shores to return to my family on Prince Edward Island, Canada! Needless to say, I am elated at the prospect and can hardly wait to embark on this next chapter of my life.

Thank you all for not judging. Thank you all for reading.

10 comments:

{illyria} said...

i am just so extremely happy for you.

Elena said...

I have one word to say... YES!!!

Wonderful new, PV! I felt so sad for Michelle and little
Maisie when I heard you were moving from them. Now your precious family will be whole again.

All the best to you and your family in this next new stage.

Gordie said...

I feel truly happy to read this. Two one-way trips are worth more than a round trip. I knew that Maisie's arrival had stirred up deep and ancient things for you. I saw your happiness last summer on Through The Lens. I'm glad you were there for Debbie, and for your sons. I hope there's a warm welcome for you back on Prince Edward Island.

Perfect Virgo said...

{illyria} - thank you! I ama happy man.

Elena - thank you for your warm wishes and watch this space for news!

Gordie - It has been a marvellous visit to my UK family but I know the welcome on PEI will be the warmest possible.

fathorse said...

Good luck and good wishes! - give the girls a hug from me upon arrival :)

C.J.Duffy said...

Good luck to you. Carpe Diem. All my best for your future.

Ms. Kimba said...

Oh i am SOOOOOOOO happy for you both!

Perfect Virgo said...

Fathorse - will do... and that's a promise!

CJ - many thanks young man. (By the way, I'm seriously worried you drive too much!)

Ms K - good news, eh! I can't wait to get back.

Grace said...

I'm happy for you too and not surprised. You came, you saw, you went back ... sounds fair enough! So I wont see you in August when I am down to visit my friends again!

Patry Francis said...

The ecstasy comes through anyway--and it shines. Every good wish to you and your family, both in Canada and in the UK.