A Day in the Life of Susan Adams

A visit to Wal-Mart:

Susan is choosing some new intimate underwear and I have been enlisted for moral support. She is emptying boxes, examining the contents and putting them aside. I nod sagely and appropriately, agreeing with her exclamations of distaste, surprise and criticism. There are some that look like harnesses with huge buckles and straps, and others so skimpy they are hardly there!

 

Armed with a selection of the tasteful yet functional Susan leads the way to the fitting room where we exchange glances and grimace at the sight of an overflowing cart outside the fitting room door. We settle in to wait, and wait Periodically a woman shopper pops out to collect an armful of garments and disappears back inside.

 

This is soon frustrating and I decided to teach the selfish shopper a serious lesson. I suggest that we should steer her full cart to a distant region of the store then sneak back to observe her reaction. Naturally I feel a tad tremulous. I mean, so much could go wrong. But never one to duck an issue, Susan takes over and, grabbing the cart, she marches off with it at a fair lick.

 

I trot behind as she zig-zags between aisles. Soon she finds a suitably distant parking spot and abandons the cart complete with its load of carefully selected and tried-on clothes. We turn on our heels and backtrack to the fitting room. Well in fairness Susan does. I stand at a safe distance several meters off, peering around a shelving unit to keep the fitting room (and Susan) under surveillance.

 

The fitting room door swings open and out jumps the shopper. Details from here on are somewhat sketchy as I display all the bravery of a scaredy-cat by darting away to inspect some pillow cases very closely with my head lowered. According to the mischief maker (who had been standing demurely and in plain sight) our shopper swung her head this way and that, swivelled on the spot with an air of utter confusion, befitting someone whose cart has vanished into thin air, then stalked off with her nose in the air.

 

Finally Susan scurries into the fitting room for her turn!

 

Bedtime:

I let Susan shower first then I slip into the bathroom for a soak in the bath. As I towel dry I hear her in the bedroom, sneezing. So cute! I flick off the bathroom light and wander in darkness to the bedroom. My eyes haven’t yet adjusted but I can just make out her little shape in the bed, snuggled under the covers.

 

I creep stealthily across the carpet and kneel at the foot of the bed. Time for a little fun! I slip my hands under the duvet and slide them smooth as a snake towards the dainty little tootsies I know are there... no warm skin... she must have spotted me and curled her little legs up. So, with a grin, I slide my hands further. Nothing!

 

There comes a stifled shriek from the darkness of the kitchen and I stand and wheel round to spot the pale gleam of a little face peeping round a corner. It’s the little rascal herself! I switch the bedroom light on and see the lump of pillows hidden under the duvet in the rough approximation of a human form. Susan’s mouth is wide with silent laughter which erupts now into hysterical cackles as I sit meekly and somewhat abashed on the edge of the bed.

 

I am sorely tempted to put her over my knee for a sound spanking but how can you reprimand such wonderful frivolity?

 

This is what days are like when you have a Susan in your life!