06 May 2005

Old red eyes


Here I am about 18 years old. I remember lying against this beer tent at a steam rally. I was hardly able to stand.

I thought this was enjoyment, I was probably wrong:

~Lying in bed after a skin-full with the bed slowly revolving. Getting back up and pulling on clothes so I could stumble the streets for an hour to speed the return of sobriety.

~Lying on a sofa with our lady lodger in 1982. Swilling gin from the second bottle and watching daylight creep through the crack in the curtains at 6am.

~Hurrying to the hospital to see the birth of my second son at midnight. Running because I was too drunk to ride my motorcycle.

~Taking no vacation for fifteen years as money spent on a holiday would have been a preposterous waste.

~Running out of salary with three weeks of the month still to go, so taking a cash advance from my credit card to balance the budget.

~Undertaking important afternoon sales interviews through a haze of booze and peppermints.

~Lying in hospital for two weeks with broken bones after a big motorcycle smash.

~Losing all rational thought and judgement.

~Drinking sherry (of all things) by the bottle.

~Promising to take a day off yet knowing I would call in at the store to get evening supplies.

~Having a heavy night out with drinking pals, but unzipping a couple more cans when I got home in the small hours, just as a night cap.

~Not stopping when I felt drunk but continuing until I passed out.

"It's a one-lane highway straight to Hell ...
And I driven it so many times, you can bet I know it well."
Slobberbone - Stumbling

10 comments:

Jen said...

I keep thinking as I read this that life can be so painful sometimes and don't we all use certain vices to escape it?

Perfect Virgo said...

Jen - yes of course you are so right. Some gamble, some take drugs, some resort to violence others drink. Drinking is really the easier option because it is socially so acceptable.

Trouble is it creeps up on you with a nasty surpise. The surprise is you can't shake it off. Thanks so much for reading and commenting Jen. I take nothing for granted.

yours truly said...

Being drunk really isn't enjoyable and you just reminded me.

Perfect Virgo said...

YT - done to excess it is not enjoyable emotionally or physically. Analyse drinking patterns and it's admitting a problem, that reduces it to what it is, a drug.

yours truly said...

Problem is it tastes so damn good. Last night I was all about wishing for the alcohol-free wine... That feels just plain stupid...

Perfect Virgo said...

I'm vegetarian and it's the same when I see quorn sausages! I mean why bother to replicate the original without the punch!

Decaffeinated coffee as well, Lite cigarettes? It's like driving on unleaded!

The Flea said...

Virgo -- both these last two posts have been very illuminating and quite honest. Thanks.

I guess they have reminded your other readers of their vices or ex-vices as they have done me. Thankfully I drank so much gut-rot whiskey over a yearly period of my youth that I can barely stomach any alcohol anymore. But then, that didn't stop me from smoking Pot several times a day for about ten years.

In a way, everyone had vices, we just need to find vices less harmful than others. Thankfully, my vices now are reading and writing. And while I may be cut off from society when I pursue them, at least they aren't slowly killing me.

Perfect Virgo said...

Flea - thanks for very honest and thought-provoking comments. I strive for perfection in a lot of things but I am coming to accept that it is surely unattainable and maybe even boring.

So, I have no plans to quit any of my other vices, writing, love and music. They may not seem like vices but they are if you do them to excess (hell I won't even try to change that character trait in me!)

Jane said...

"ALE N THE... PAUL!"

Perfect Virgo said...

Yes, plenty of ale in me!