13 May 2006

Optimistic Pessimism



Blue skies are really red, hate is really love, death is really life and full of apparent contradictions. I am as confused as ever.

OPTIMISTIC PESSIMISM

I remember a happy embryo
Will I die a contented corpse?
Give me something to live for.

Live the wildest danger
Take it to the limit and back
Give me something to try for.

Slip a hand between life’s thighs
She moans and opens wide
Give me someone to lie for.

Smell my leather jacket
Wear my dusty boots
Give me something to ride for

Shall I suck a lemon
Sour suits my yellow life
Give me something to cry for

Deliver me another chance
To write history as a winner
Give me something to die for.

23 comments:

Queen Neetee said...

Little brother, this is an amazing piece.

I love the open duality of what is and what possibly could be. Beyond the uncontrollable results that come about in a lifetime, you stand aware and still willing to take a different turn at it all.

You are a lover of life, an adventurer of truth, and you look away from no endings, for you know just how to begin again.

This is so strong and marvelously written beyond being merely a good combination of words. This is your truth and though I marvel at it, it is also deeply respected by me.

Beautiful in deed.

Trudging said...

Awesome picture!

NMAMFQLMSH said...

Wonderful picture and a very heartfelt poem. It's as if you were writing it for me....lol. Seriously I've been feeling like that lately. :)
I see you,
JJ

just sayin' said...

This may be my favorite.

boulies said...

Dear Bro Virgo, One thing's for certain, your delicious writing gives us all something to live for. I feel so much pain in this piece...rich pain, well lived pain, a pain I can relate to also. Your first stanza is an incredibly written, tantalizing opener. The next speaks of you and only you leading into the references to your leather and your bike which speaks so clearly of your live wild, play wild core. I so admire your adventuresome spirit, your ability to take chances; this part of you which I've come to greatfully know. For you, I envision you sucking on the seed of your own brand of knowledge which we are all learning
from and growing from. The last stanza is certainly of a ficticious character as we all know OUR PERFECT VIRGO is a winner in his brilliance and his ability to teach us more about ourselves and the world and of course what GREAT WRITING is all about.

GEL said...

Intense
philosophically witty, wry, and devastatingly heart-wrenching poem.
Utterly raw, no pretense- exposed pain that rips through every layer of me.

The stanza (with that brilliant phrase "slip a hand between life's thighs") smack in the middle seems to be the center around which your thoughts and yearnings spin. It's also the only one where you overtly say "give you someone not something, although I think throughout your poem you want a certain someone as the "something" to love and be loved by, so that Life has all the meaning you speak of here.

You are "a winner" no matter what is in the past for you. I hope you'll feel that soon, as you rediscover yourself.

Cocaine Jesus said...

with my normal aplomb and subtlty i can only offer this ...
fucking wicked bruv.

Perfect Virgo said...

Neetee – big protective sister, I have taken several months acclimatising to life after work. I believe I have always been fully aware of but scared by both endings and beginnings. So much so that I skirted them, wouldn’t look them in the eye. Even when I wrote about deep issues last year I didn’t confront them. Duality as you so smartly put it is all around us and I am gratified you see me as an adventurer of truth. My new life of freedom from deadlines is becoming more comfortable.

Trudging – taken from an upper window of my house. The pink glow was there for less than five minutes before the sun sank too low. I picked it as a natural example of duality.

JJ – of course I was writing for you! If the cap fits, they say wear it… Inside you have incredible excitement and ability waiting to burst out. When the time comes to dip toes into the summer ocean, ripples will spread far and wide.

M – better even than my happy pieces?? Wait a moment though, you may be right, I don’t write happy words – I don’t know any… !

Boulies – how astute you are little sister, I believe we all mask a similar pain. Acknowledging likes and dislikes, differentiating want and need and having the courage to say so out loud is still an approach I am in the early stages of learning.

I was a meek youth and a sullen young adult. I entered middle age with anger and bitterness. A decade or more on and I’m finally being honest with myself. Thanks for seeing value in the wilder side of my pursuits.

In true ambiguous style I might say I am cautiously reckless these days!

Silvermoon – you cut straight to the chase with a ruthless yet caring analysis. I felt you would spot the pivotal theme and the singular word use. I wanted to smack the reader in the eye with a gesture at once tender and provocative. A passionate indication of the way I am learning to live my new life.

I like the suggestion of wry wit, it neatly sums up my current emotions. You are spot-on! Exposed pain is agony. This was an attempt to put it into context and ultimately see the truth beyond. This voyage of rediscovery is throwing up some amazing touches.

CJ – I wish I had your exotic way with words young man! Or should that be erotic?

sirreene said...

I'm sending this to a friend. Now that's a compliment.

just sayin' said...

LOL - I see the pessimistic optimism.

Jane said...

i may be a fool, but when truth speaks
i listen.

Perfect Virgo said...

Sirreene - send it to whomsoever you please. It will be going to a good home - that's a compliment too.

M - ha ha, dual purpose phrases. Either way means much the same...

Jane - so very good to see you round here today. Your comment speaks volumes with so few words.

/iambrew said...

i didnt read the poem but i loooovvveee the picture...

doughgirl said...

Another stunner Perfect...

As I read and re-read these words, I see things that you have had and things that you still have...that is except for in two verses...one leaves you longing at first I thought for Mrs. Green, but somewhere in there I feel a sense of maybe just someone as deeply connected as you. Did I get that from "your yellow life" I think maybe..I will figure it out.

This one says..I have and am willing to accept everything in my life except for....

....I understand

Perfect Virgo said...

/Iambrew - the picture dissolved in minutes, the words remain.

DG - good grief more synchronicity. Mrs Green may once have been an inspiration but the yellow tinge is a permanent sour void, like the gap in your final sentence. It shouted so loudly... see, you did figure it out little lady.

Benjamin said...

Another friend, the one I love,
Turns to me 'Have you seen enough?',
'Let's hang about. There's nothing like a sunset.'

(Belle and Sebastian) x

finnegan said...

If these deep and powerful sentiments don't beg to be sung out loud a rousing music...

The last line is the finish of a very fast ride---from embryo to corpse in 13.5 seconds flat.

Chequered flags and dancing girls moaning and you win baby, you win.

Imagine Cocaine's dried-up drag queen as your prize. You'd gladly give up motorcyle, boots, jacket and dusty lemons to become that happy embryo once again.

Perfect Virgo said...

Benjamin - nice quote. No need to hurry a sunset.

Finn - CJ's drag queen is drier than an Andes mummie. Any bedroom gymnastics with her would result in a cloud of dust! I love your high performance comment it's just like a slice of pure wincible lemon.

DG - you seized on the colour reference in this one! Yellow is the blur I leave in my wake on the waspishly decked Yamaha. I wanna talk bikes and ride your fast roads, knee down.

doughgirl said...

Perfect

I dont know where to begin or even should I leave this in here for the world to see my wounds...or shall I even care anymore if they do.

I am raw with pain such pain that I have not known in such a long time

Pain from the words of another that cut so deeeply That I can see right to my bones, count the strands of flesh that hang from my body.

I almost wish that instead of those judgemental hurtful words of someone who does not and could not ever understand that he had beaten me senseless and left me for my bruises to heal.

Someone who has been around long enough to know better but wears blinders to reality. Someone who could hurt me like no other.

Perfect today is the day that The compulsion stayed all day, this is the first moment that I have gotten rid of the thought. Scared shittless yet wanting to no longre feel the pain, knowing that one sip could remove it, but also knowing that one sip would never be enough and then those words that hurt so bad would have become truth.

am I a bad mother????

Perfect Virgo said...

Doughgirl - No never a bad mother… please look at the girls’ faces, my answer is confirmed there. Anyone making such an accusation is clearly blind. I wonder if anyone judges that person’s own achievements.

"Long enough to know better" yet act worse? Someone who doesn’t see reality is missing the point of life itself. Your hurt is real though the bruises are mental. Relief from that psychological pain is at the bottom of a glass but it is only temporary relief. You saw that tomorrow would be hell and stepped back from the brink of the abyss.

The world may see your wounds here but will learn from your honesty.

Anna Piutti said...

Wow, that's a great poem! I absolutely love it.

transience said...

that hit me right between the eyes, pv. the stunning clarity of insight in one sharp blow. i love how unpretentious this is and how raw.

Perfect Virgo said...

Anna - thank you! I turned back to verse after a barren spell.

Transience - glad it makes sense, this was a deliberate attempt at stripping away frills and cutting to the heart of life and death. The end product is half the original draft.