26 May 2006

Tagged by Patry

I don't like to blow my own trumpet, as a matter of fact I haven't invested in a brass instrument. So these are accurate responses with no fan-fare.

southern broadcaster neutral.

fifteen years of alcoholism followed by twelve years of sobriety… and counting.

chore I hate:
grocery shopping at the supermarket. I always seem to be standing just exactly where someone else wants to be. And another thing - no sooner does my critical attention alight on something I like but the store discontinues to stock it.

one cat – “Smartie.” He follows my wife like a sheep, catches frogs, lies in wait on the bird-table but mostly ignores me.

essential electronics:
PC, hi-fi, iPod, Camera etc, etc…

favorite perfume/cologne:
tap water and soap several times daily.

probably neither but when I become a Pirate I will have a gold tooth.

Dibden Purlieu, Hampshire, England – on the edge of King Henry VIII’s 140 square mile hunting ground, The New Forest.

generally I sleep like a log and cannot be woken. Occasionally I stay awake all night when thoughts and problems need thinking through.

job title:
some might say lazy-bones! I accepted voluntary redundancy in January 2006. Having no earned income has involved re-thinking my spending habits but I think I can ward off starvation!

two extremely tall boys in their twenties.

living arrangements:
big-ish house by UK’s miniscule standards. Now the boys have moved on we rattle.

most admired trait:
attention to detail.

number of sexual partners:
too few to brag, just sufficient to understand.

overnight hospital stays:
tonsillectomy at 35 and 45 (they re-grew). Surgery on elbow tendons at 44.

flying. Aeroplanes scare the heck out of me and I finally managed my first flight at age 45 to Florida. Only an extremely important destination or appointment lures me aloft.

"Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself but talent instantly recognizes genius." — Sir Arthur Conan Doyle 1859-1930

born and raised Roman Catholic but lost faith during teenage years. Now I know the difference between right and wrong, I honour people who care, I respect nature and admire honesty.

one sister I love. One brother.

time I usually wake up:
6:30am but seldom rise before 8am. Coffee brings me out of my thick head.

unusual talent:
I can wriggle my ears, twitch my nose and if you really ask nicely, I can make squeaking noises by squeezing my hands together..

vegetable I refuse to eat:
if I ate no vegetables I would die. I am vegetarian.

worst habit:
correcting grammatical errors. If you want a good laugh, watch me throw shoes, remote controls and miscellaneous weaponry at TV presenters to reprimand the buffoons! (Second worst habit – when I am upset I detach the cause like a diseased limb.)

I am not keen for someone to see right through me. A slight aura of mystery is important. Who wants to see my bones anyway?

yummy foods I make:
Positively none, I find food mildly irritating and am yet to locate the kitchen. I long for the day when taking nourishment as tablets and liquid becomes an option.

zodiac sign:
Virgo. Come on people! Surely that’s perfectly obvious?!


Queen Neetee said...

You are a man of impressive substance little brother. I enjoyed reading about you.

probably neither but when I become a Pirate I will have a gold tooth.
My favorite piece of info. Believe it or not, this also is my pirate wish.


I love stuff like this. A little more insight into my bro across the Atlantic...

Patry Francis said...

Maybe you should get a trumpet...This is as interesting as I knew it would be.

Perfect Virgo said...

Neetee - so you want to leap aboard a blazing brig with a cutlass clenched between your teeth... Great! I thought I was the only one. I have a navy and white hooped sweater on order :)

JJ - thought you'd like this sneaky peek down the microscope!

Patry - funny how we always view our own lives as bland. Well not bland exactly but mild and ordinary. If I really wanted to turn heads I could track down a euphonium and wander the streets, wobbling under the thunderous weight and noise...

transience said...

fleshes you out just a little bit more. looks like it'll be easier to invite you out for coffee now that i know a bit of your history, yeah? ;)

finnegan said...

Like the meme and like even better the idea of you and Neetee with wild eyes and sharpened gold cuspids (and a few missing front teeth) going "aarrrgg!" as you swing from hempen ropes onto a blazing brig.

If you don't mind, I'd like to bring my video camera along and document your next raid. I've been planning a vidlog called "Coarse Air"---yours is just the pilot pirate feature I've been waiting for. "Arrrgggg!"

Queen Neetee said...

Aye Matey! I visited Charleston, South Carolina, (USA) a couple of years ago - pirates were quite present there in the 1800's - I bought Stede Bonnet's pirate flag.
I even have an idea for a pirate's tale that I conjured up about 14 years ago.
So to answer your question...Aye! Bring on the burning brig, the cutlass is ready mate!

Anna Piutti* said...

I just took that meme as well.

I'm with you on the "tap water and soap" thing!

That picture of Smartie is great!

Perfect Virgo said...

Transience - Colombian, hot black and bitter. I'll be the one in the corner with a wooden leg, a scarlet bandanna, a gold tooth and a parrot on my shoulder :)

Finn - I was never the same again after reading Treasure Island. I can do a passable parrot impression you know - "Pieces of eight... pieces of eight!"

Neetee - I see I am up against some stiff competition here! You'd soon have me rumbled. Shiver me timbers, I don't even know how to 'splice a mainbrace' or 'hoist a Jolly Roger,' surely piratical prerequisites?

Anna - I'll be round to read soon. The birds in my garden stand no chance with this tiger on the prowl. I tried to introduce him to the idea of soap and water too but he high-tailed it!

Perfect Virgo said...

Transience - Colombian, hot black and bitter. I'll be the one in the corner with a wooden leg, a scarlet bandanna, a gold tooth and a parrot on my shoulder :)

Finn - I was never the same again after reading Treasure Island. I can do a passable parrot impression you know - "Pieces of eight... pieces of eight!"

Neetee - I see I am up against some stiff competition here! You'd soon have me rumbled. Shiver me timbers, I don't even know how to 'splice a mainbrace' or 'hoist a Jolly Roger,' surely piratical prerequisites?

Anna - I'll be round to read soon. The birds in my garden stand no chance with this tiger on the prowl. I tried to introduce him to the idea of soap and water too but he high-tailed it!

Anna Piutti* said...

I know what you mean about the birds...I had the "pleasure" of spending hours trying to get sparrows out of the house thanks to my cat - lol!

Oh, and as far as gold teeth...a couple of weeks ago there was this lady on the bus with gold front teeth...it was definitely a sight to see.

boulies said...

I really enjoyed reading about your likes and dislikes instilled with your brand of humor. How true about shopping. As soon as I get hooked on something it disappears. I've programed my brain to not get too attached. I was surprised to hear about your fear of flying in planes. You have such an appreciation for fast moving vehicles. I guess you prefer them on the ground. Your comment about the xrays was truly amusing. Xrays really freak me out. I feel like I'm being nuked and avoid them whenever possible. I will come back and re-read your answers. I enjoy learning more about my big

boulies said...

P.S. Smartie looks just like a cat of mine who lived till age 20. She died 3 years ago but I still miss her like crazy!

Perfect Virgo said...

Anna - cats chase birds - fact. This one also goes for mice, frogs and beetles. I am always clearing up after him...

Maybe your fellow bus passenger was suspicious of banks so kept her wealth in her mouth?!

Boulies - I sometimes think I must have bizarre tastes. The supermarket stockists have the data from my loyalty card to prove what I like to buy. Surely that ought to give them a clue. Obviously not.

Smartie is a loner like me, he very seldom lets me pick him up without a good deal of hissing and struggling. Him not me :)

Queen Neetee said...

little bro - I have a strong feeling that you would be the most fabulous pirate of all. That ship would be about order and speed! We would all be in the most 'down to business' leather attire. And if you don't mind, I will design the flag.
Forget a parrot, we'll have smartie (who will have at least one wooden leg.)
The crew will be smart and ruthless,
You as Captain, myself, boulies, finn, CJ, and young skelety. There will be some serious "Arrrrgging" going on!

Perfect Virgo said...

Neetee - a good crew big sis, buccaneers all. Move over Johhny Depp, the real swashbucklers arrr here!

Should I wear a hooped earring? Ah but that would be to reveal my piercing details and that is a closely guarded secret. :)

I trust villainy, marooning, missing limbs and eye patches will all feature in your up-coming tale of Spanish galleons on the high seas...

Trudging said...

Thanks for the insight.

boulies said...

Will you and Neetee still want me as part of your pirate crew if I'm wearing a bright orange life jacket? I'm a lousy swimmer. Not a very cool pirate image is it?

Perfect Virgo said...

Trudging - thanks for reading, I wish it were more interesting!

Boulies - fear not, we will find you some inflatable water wings in the shape of parrots - no one will notice. Keep your diary free for the summer, I hear the Caribbean calling...

Cocaine Jesus said...

an x-ray of PV?
blimey, what a thought. a tall being with a veggie filling!!

doughgirl said...

Piercings???? I did'nt know about piercings..lol

Queen Neetee said...

Don't let boulies fool you, she might not swim well but, she loves to make all the other land lubbers walk the plank. (Just like a good pirate should.)

And Captain Virgo, I'm sure the 'other' piercings you referred to are to do with those piercing eyes, right? Right.

Perfect Virgo said...

CJ - it helps to be tall so I can walk around with my head in the clouds!

DG - oh dear me, have I just let something slip! Good job I didn't have to answer a question about tattoos...

You will notice this comment thread has taken a distinctly nautical turn! I take all the blame because I mentioned wanting a gold tooth! See what trouble I cause when I don't stick to the script!!

Neetee - we could encourage Boulies to climb the mast with a telescope and sit in the crow's nest from where she could call, "land ahoy!"

I always had 20/20 vision but now in my crumbling years I am getting ever more long-sighted. I can read a licence plate at 1,000 yards but I need to examine the back of a CD through squinted slits.

mussolini said...

you're tall?? how tall?? i am five feet three inches short. i probably go up to your nipples.

Perfect Virgo said...

Mussolini - 6 feet to the top of my head, 4 feet 8 inches to the nipple and size XXL hands. From that lot one ought to be able to work out my shoe size!

Cocaine Jesus said...

beware of a tall good looking gent ambling around your neighbourhood with a large smile and even larger packet in his Y fronts. don't ask how i know just trust me.

would i lie to you?

boulies said...

Now, now Cocaine, don't be jealous!

Bro Perfect, those inflatable water wings reminds me of Inspector Cousteaus (I know my spelling stinks...Peter Sellers) inflatable parrot. His parrot didn't do so well for him. It flew the coop. Are you trying to kill me off?

Neetee, Don't give me any ideas. I'll be killing everyone else off. ARRRRRRR!

GEL said...

(Aside:CJ, you kill me! As soon as I read about PV'S lovely hands, which I've seen in a photo, I knew you'd show your bawdy pirate side! (I wish to make crystal clear I have not seen photos of the PV's parts you lauded. As to real life, a girl has to have some mystery.) Ouch, PV, I felt that... hehe.)

This post was a cool meme although I learned new info in the comment thread, not in your post. How ironic that my younger daughter attended a birthday party last Sat. night where the mandatory dress code for every one was Pirate attire! As for me, well I like costumes... and water...and hands.

Perfect Virgo said...

CJ – Arrr Jim Lad, now you're making me blush... In my younger, louder, ruder days I may have been inclined to say "am I pleased to see you or did someone just put a canoe in my pocket!"

Boulies – your innocent humour is so fantastic! Please, please don’t be upset if I make a small observation… I believe Jacques Cousteau was a celebrated undersea explorer! Inspector Clouseau however, as portrayed by the inimitable Mr Sellers, was a French officer of the law who had the parrot you so knowledgeably remembered!! :)

Perhaps I should purchase a rubber ring for the less strong swimmers among we band of buccaneers? They would cause a good deal less hilarity and we might even get some serious pirating done. You may be interested to learn that Finn has asked permission to wear flippers and a snorkel like Dustin Hoffman in “The Graduate” should any leaping overboard be deemed essential.

Silvermoon – aha the dig in the ribs was to encourage mystery…

My two and a half inch pencil-like toes are just right for playing Chopsticks on the piano and these large feet enter a room seconds before I do. I trip over them, other people trip over them and even the cat trips over them! Help me hack off one at the knee, that should trim me down to size, (I could also do an effective Long John Silver!)

I trust your daughter turned many a swashbuckler’s head. Were there rousing choruses of “What shall we do with the drunken sailor…?”

GEL said...

I merely wish to truncate someone's off-colour jabs (dear CJ the jester) and clarify to all that it was your talented toesies I felt gently poking me in my ribs!

99% of the party revelry is a mystery to me, as per 16 yr. old teen code. She came home beaming and even volunteered some of the "party loot" to share with me! This was the first time I tasted white choc. M & M's. YUM!

P.S. I think a silver moon (as in the sky!!!!- not being "cheeky") is needed to keep the light aimed high on the upcoming pirate shenanigans your gold tooth implanted. *Grin*

boulies said...

Ha, ha! Jacques would be rolling in his grave if he knew of my name screw-up. While I was writing it, I thought it seemed strange that they had the same last name.That's why I fumbled around and threw Peter Seller's out there for you. I knew I could redeem myself with it. I'm very bad with names. Pathetic Really! Finn can testify to that.

And speaking of Finn, He better have a good life support system for when I get him on the plank.

boulies said...

P.S. I just left a comment for you at my place.

Queen Neetee said...

Hey little bro, I told you that boulies, our the little non swimming pixie was ruthless! Haha! I'm glad we're on her side.

skelety said...

Wow, awesome porte folio of your habits and personality!
And I agree with you about the grammar issues.. That's what I do too on newgrounds! ;)

RuKsaK said...

We share a lot actually - especially the flying, the electronics and the grammar.

Perfect Virgo said...

Silvermoon - toesies is a gorgeous word. As mine are as long as fingers I should really learn a range of new skills with them!

Young adult-speak is bemusing and highly creative, a cool street lingo that defies this old codger! We grown-ups can float from a metallic dental implant to mooning by soft lunar beams in a few gentle sentences.

Boulies - You're a sport. Thanks for giving me a laugh. What a priceless piece of Pink Panther prose.

Neetee - gosh I see there's fight in the young whipper snapper! Hide the plank.

Skelety - only one proper way to walk and talk. We should spread the word!

Ruk - yep, I'm sure we talked about this fear of flying before. Bad grandma sucks badly...

Anonymous said...

having just read this i am (not really) surprised by how familiar it is.

Perfect Virgo said...

Jane - I just read it again too and I am (not really) surprised at how consistent my replies are.