change of heart

crooked smile and lazy wink
broad grin and twinkling eye
boyish charmer slightly shy

blue sky high gear rolling
top down sunshine cruising
huge horizon music pumping

fragile self esteem falling
false laughter seldom smiling
desperate sorrow barely breathing

sinking shoulders and curled lip
ugly glare and furrowed brow
blinking back angry tears

fire deep inside the belly
bitter anger in the heart
but nothing on my mind

all an act a stupid game
life’s a cunt death’s the same
I lost my mask am I to blame?