31 January 2006

Fresh Air



For years now I have breathed mostly conditioned air. Occasionally I have tried stale air, hot air and even rarefied air but mostly conditioned. Perhaps I was conditioned into thinking this is the only kind of air there is, the only worthwhile air. Two weeks ago I turned off that dubious life-support system and I have since inhaled nothing but free air. Any change of diet takes some getting used to, right?

When the Corporation chooses humidity level, temperature range and fan assistance you just accept your air how it is served up. But what if they've been providing you with the wrong kind of air all along, what if they've been slowly poisoning you is it possible to recover? Yes, but slowly. I'm not expecting to feel ten years younger overnight.

In some countries I think there would be a law against passive air-conditioning. Not in the UK though, the Nanny State tells us what is best for us and our Corporations duly obey. Windows are screwed shut lest we should breathe the intoxicating air of freedom.


In my house we have a new air freshener in the form of a shiny white plastic box complete with discreet, green blinking light. At pre-set intervals it delivers a charge of scent with a wheezy cough. The cat's head swivels towards it in surprise every time and I stare wide-eyed at the cat wondering if it has flu! Within seconds the air is tinged with lavender. This is all well and good but I find the alarming delivery method vastly more entertaining than the fragrance.

Anyway does a delicate smell count as fresh air? On balance I think I prefer to open windows and admit the regulation mixture of oxygen, hydrogen and nitrogen!

27 comments:

NMAMFQLMSH said...

Give me an open window anyday unless it is 90 degrees out then I will take the air conditioner. Winters really blow around here. House all button down tight. Give me fresh air...cough cough. Wait, I need to light a cigarette.
I see you,
JJ

AAwoken said...

I like lavender, preferably the fresh kind though.

Patry Francis said...

I would love to see your cat's reaction--though your description is so vivid, I feel like I HAVE seen it. I have loved the scent of lavender ever since an old boyfriend took a shower with lavender soap. Very sweet association.

Perfect Virgo said...

JJ - it's very cold here too, a degree or two above freezing and I have the heating up high.

AAwoken - welcome. At least the automated squirt is better than nothing.

Patry - Smartie watched it very suspiciously to begin with but now he's ignoring it. I still turn my head every time thinking it's the cat sneezing!

RuKsaK said...

WOW!

'Open the pod bay door HAL.'

Queen Neetee said...

Gosh, I like this piece. It's written so smartly. The conditioned air...how many times I've felt the cool pleasing air and yet for a second looked up to see if anyone else breathes with suspicion. Sometimes my mind pictures the catch of the day in the filters, yuck.

Oh the pleasant puffs of lavender, yet another conditioned presentation of air. Though it's clearly much more entertaining to man and cat, ...does a delicate smell count as fresh air?
Thanks for this!

Perfect Virgo said...

Ruk - do you reckon my air freshener looks like a space ship?

Neetee - thanks for enjoying this one. The Air Wick squirts once every 34 minutes to remind me I am truly free of work. I love hearing that little sneeze.

transience said...

i live in heart of the city where the air is supremely toxic, so airconditioned air, though not my first choice, is still safest. pity though. but that thingamajigy looks awesome.

Natsthename said...

I love fresh air and even in winter, I crack the windows open to get the "clean" air into the house every so often.

Makes me want to do that right now!

Cocaine Jesus said...

same as being in a car isn't it? air con with the windows all ound up.
nah.
better when ALL the windows are down and you are cruising at maybe sixty and all the muck and goodness hits your face.
i appreciate Trans comment but would rather have the government get industry to tidy up its act and then let me make the choice of which air i want to breathe rather than the other way around.
bloody funny read by the way.

and JJ, put out that fag before you fall asleep!

Perfect Virgo said...

Transience - shame about your local air! The gadget is about 8 inches tall and we have 2, the other squirts away upstairs. I love not breathing Corporate air.

Natalie - yep even in winter. The cat comes in shivering from the garden and glares at the open windows!

CJ - I'll take the rolled down car windows too, natural and healthy and not a whiff of B/S.

dAAve said...

naturally.

sirreene said...

What's all this fuss about conditioned hair? smelling of lavendar? hahahahaha!

Perfect Virgo said...

Sirreene - you know I shaved my head so no need to worry about hair now... Next I'm rubbing lavender oil into my scalp! Good idea or will it sting? Hee hee hee...

Jen said...

Giggling at your cat....

Good for you for taking charge of your air! And have you seen that documentary, the Corporation? It's one of my faves!! Seriously changed my life. :-)

finnegan said...

The only time I worked in a conditioned corporate atmosphere was when I was 20. For two months I dunned for late bank payments while looking out over a galaxy of Hollywood lights spangling the big grid all the way to the Pacific. The mix was so upsetting that I've never done it since. Machined air sounds good only if one is in space or suffering from emphysema.

Your humour is pumping out in larger doses P.V.
A very good sign in every way.

Pfffft!

Perfect Virgo said...

Jen - I hope your new cat is training you well! I have not seen The Corporation but I have just read a review which mentioned the "pathalogical pursuit of power." Hmm sounds interesting I'll check it out.

Finn - if you've stayed clear of a Corporate life then good for you. It is stifling and I fear I left it too late by waiting to be pushed rather than jumping. The important thing is I am out.

doughgirl said...

I tried to stop by here last night and I couldnt get in, I thought you had banned me..lol.

Conditioned air hmmmm. I dont think ive tried it, however I do love fresh air especially in the winter time. I have a hard time breathing the stagnant air of summer on hot hot days, unless of course I am at the beach :)

Luv ya :)

Bouls said...

In our house we also have a little contraption that puffs out the scent of "Shades of Vanilla." I could change the disk to lavender or another scent which I can purchase at the supermarket. (Not cheap!) It works great in the bathroom where our cats's litter box resides. However, I still prefer a stick of incense. What kind of poison do the sinister, money grubbing, T.V. commercial pushing manufacturers slip into these fragrances? I wonder?... Fresh air is always the best. I detect from your writing that your coming out of corporate air, has your mind breathing the freshness of the real.

Perfect Virgo said...

DG - couldn't get in? Perhaps I had locked up for the night and put the cat out! No not banned, you little monkey.

Air conditioning is almost like brain-washing. I'm with you on preferring mid-winter fresh air although the beach does have its attractions.

Bouls - so you think they lace the scent with something to keep us buying? You may have a point there. Corporations feed us air that is not too hot to induce sleep nor too cold to numb the mind. Yes my mind is enjoying the fresh air as much as my lungs.

Queen Neetee said...

I am starting my new story and would like very much if you would contribute 'words' again.
Thank you.

Bouls said...

I mean chemicals that are just plain bad for us to breath. They're not thinking health, just profit.

Bouls said...

I posted a comment earlier and I guess it got lost. Anyway, I just meant that I think there are chemicals put into these products which are bad for us to breath. Not that the manufacterer is trying to kill us. I think they just don't care. I use ours sparingly.

mussolini said...

this cleanliness pleases me. btw, i put up a new blog that's even lamer than the first. http://laptop-in-a-prada.blogspot.com

Perfect Virgo said...

Neetee - I dropped some words round for your perusal and I'm looking forward to your next woven yarn.

Bouls - two messages but was there a third? I have been told this has happened before, how annoying. An occasional squirt is ample!

Mussolini - lameness is only in the eye of the beholder. I'll be round shortly to judge. The URL tells me you have not lost your motivations!

Jane said...

air sweet air. i have developed a very high appreciation for fresh, clean air. i dislike air fresheners.

my parents are both heavy smokers and didn't hesitate to light up despite the fact that we lived in small apartments. i remember whining from the back seat whenever they would light up simultaneously in the car. even today they ignore my plea.

my home is smoke free. no fancy systems, but i love to throw open all the windows and air the place out once a week or so. it's freezing when you do it this time of year. wearing my winter jacket in the apartment makes me smile. and my visitors think i am crazy.

air fresheners bother me. my mother would spray industrial strength shit to cover the smell of smoke in the house. i think that stuff was more toxic than the cigarettes. fake chemical scents still turn my stomach.

Perfect Virgo said...

Jane - but what am I supposed to do? The wife installed these gadgets and as I am already regarded as utterly heartless I felt it would be tactful not to object.

Both my parents were heavy smokers and the paint in their house was always yellow. I smoked from age 15 to age 40 and finally quit when breathing hurt as much as not breathing. These days I can run up stairs and take a full deep breath no problem.

The device pictured spits a small jet every 34 minutes and I am grudgingly tolerating it...