12 August 2005

Nightmare daydream


Sometimes my mind drifts and I think with piercing clarity

a million people stand in my way
iridium lenses shield against eye contact
a beautiful barrier
minding my own business
incessant conversations in my skull
words I can’t speak
drag a finger along the railings to pick up germs
freezer needs defrosting
i’m not talking to you
reflections in a window resolve into the view beyond
everyone else is needlessly boring
a different journey please on new roads
a woman i could love
treading water not waving but drowning
supposedly intelligent actually retarded
a rice pudding with tender skin
what fucking saviour
hatred fatigue
do you know that Artesian well
walk the wing of a 747 eight miles high
leap from the 48th
mainline de-sensitising agents
tea and toast
hell of a holiday
is anyone sitting here
dry properly between your toes
rotting red roadkill
angelic choir church and steeple
charisma bypass or character transplant
10 million seconds to live
3 months to die
it is now safe to switch off your computer
3,291 units of length
perfectly precious people prefer private promises
taking the utmost care
barrel pressed to temple
angry happy sad rules for archiving and destruction
report unattended baggage
i so badly want to drink an Ocean
eyes wide ears flat
take me to your dealer
fuck forever
wireless trip wire
portent omen sign harbinger prophecy
alive at least

16 comments:

NMAMFQLMSH said...

O.K. PV I read that and wanted to climb through the computer and give you a hug (((((PV)))))). Did you write that in one sitting? It is thought provoking for sure. For the first time in a long time I am speechless.
Peace,
JJ

Perfect Virgo said...

JJ - well I'm here waiting... and I could use a hug righ tnoe. I sat for an hour at work and ignored my time sheets and other nonsense. I spoke the thoughts that came into my head (I use voice recognition software) Some of the thoughts scared me.

Icylyrics said...

Im sitting here at my computer reading a few of my favorite blogs. It's 1am, and yes I should be writing something constructive since someone decided that's what I was to do with my life. Anyway, I found your blog from transcience (forgive spelling, its late) and anyone named Perfect Virgo deserves my undivided attention, especially since I thought I was the Perfect Virgo.

So now there's two of us....HUM HUM what's the world to do.

Enjoyed your poetry, a great deal.
especially this part

'incessant conversations in my skull
words I can’t speak

Stay Blessed
Icy

Perfect Virgo said...

Icy - Transience makes good introductions. I am a virgo therefore I am perfect, makes good sense I think! We can be insufferable I know, very pedantic and regimented. Glad you liked the outburst of thought today. It came from the clatter of chatter in my head.

Grace said...

Wow, powerful chatter clattering there! When I read it I was wondering what the words sounded like! I did wonder if you had used the Voice Recogntion Software to get it down. Now I know! Maybe I should read it aloud and find out, or maybe speak some of my own 'brain storming' outloud? Maybe thats too scary, brave man PV :-)

Patry Francis said...

When your thoughts scare you, that means you've achieved maximum honesty.

There's so much here. Each line could be the opening of a poem. The overall effect seems to be a heart in turmoil--which is how so many of us feel much of the time.

Perfect Virgo said...

Grace - stream of conscious thought can produce alarming thoughts. Here I refer to anger, isolation, randomness and even obliquely to suicide. Stuff is dredged up from the past. It all flashes through your mind every day even for just second. Dictating it with Voice Recognition Software (VRS) means it can be captured before it is forgotten. Plus it's easier on the old RSI! Brave? You judge...

Patry - a valid point. I didn't dress anything up. I didn't like the ugly thoughts but I had them so I recorded them. Turmoil is a fair summary - various topics all vying with each other for supremacy. Each one pushing the last out. No real resolutions just hanging on tightly and waiting. It's comforting to know others connect with that feeling.

The Flea said...

I've often dreamed of writing poetry Virgo, but for some strange reason have never tried. And when I read poetry this grand, I'm even more convinced not to bother. I know I couldn't even begin to achieve such perfection . . .

but hey, you are Perfect right?

I understand your introduction. "Piercing clarity" says it all.

finnegan said...

a beautiful barrier
minding my own business

dry properly between your toes
rotting red roadkill

is anyone sitting here
dry properly between your toes

take me to your dealer

3 months to die
it is now safe to switch off your computer



Virgo, these are precious combos that I'm copy-pasting to my skull, if you don't mind my having a nice trip wire.

Mere Existence said...

Very nice. I'm happy that you always manage to mix up the medium, but keep a steady flow of creativity and honesty.

Perfect Virgo said...

Flea - I'm staggered by your kind comments. I simply sat and allowed random thoughts from the past and the present to creep into my mind. As they did I condensed them into short phrases that hang loosely together.

Alright, I'm Perfect but only if you say so...

Finn - each thought was, to an extent, the genesis of the next so there is a thread of sorts. Did you do the sums? 10 million seconds make 3 months...

ME - more mixing yes. When you love words it's hard to stop them from tumbling out in any shape or form. I'm sure you find that.

The Flea said...

Don't be staggered PV. If only we could believe in our own talents.

I leave you with a Nelson Mandela quote my mum just sent me. Kinda seems appropriate here (valid even without the God talk).

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

finnegan said...

Didn't make the connection, but as my math skills are exceeded even by the "inchworm", it shouldn't surprise a numbers-cruncher like yourself.

Thank goodness I've got ten fingers and ten toes, along with the odd digit-cum-lever in between.

Perfect Virgo said...

Flea - a nice quote, thanks for sharing it. So liberation is about pushing the boundaries until there are no boundaries...

Finn - digits come in so handy as do levers. I see a new meaning for the phrase "pocket calculator!"

Jordan E. Rosenfeld said...

This is my favorite photo. It looks like how I feel when I'm writing too hard.

Jordan

Perfect Virgo said...

Sometimes you just feel completely overwhelmed by it all...