27 April 2005

Nightmare



Inspired by the writing of commenter Finnegan, I decided to record the details of my next dream. After several nights of blackness I have something to recount from last night. The dream was an extremely frightening experience which I have attempted to recreate and interpret.
 
Lying on my back looking at the bedroom ceiling I caught a movement at the corner of my eye. There was a square opening where none should be. A male face thrust silently through and fixed me with a stare that penetrated my soul. As if I had been injected with some paralysing agent I was utterly unable to move. The face smirked as if recognising I was defenceless. He eased himself through the small hole with great agility and lowered himself to the carpet. Immediately he was followed by another who quickly stood beside him.

Together these visitors monitored my reaction and were satisfied. At no time did they speak. I gained the clear sense that they exchanged the thought "this one poses no threat." As they moved noiselessly through the bedroom door I fought hard to achieve motion. Eventually I could sit up. The sound of drawers opening and papers ruffling came up the stairs. My wife was awake beside me but seemed oblivious to the intrusion.

With a supreme effort I managed to stand up and walk stiff-legged through the bedroom doorway to the stairs. The body of a dead woman lay in the hallway below and the two men were looking down at her then up at me. I put massive effort into screaming at them "What are you doing?" but my mouth would not open and no sound would come. I tried to shout for help through my closed mouth. The intruders stepped over the body and strode calmly out through my front door. I continued to try and shout loudly but could only mouth silent words.

*****
 
I awoke sitting bolt upright and drenched in sweat. The most complete and clawing sense of dread filled my mind and I shook like a leaf. "Why were you crying, who were you shouting at?" my wife was asking me. I could not reply, I was trying to work out why I was so scared. The time was 3:00am. As I recovered by degrees I began to recall the dream and recounted it to my wife. Unable to sleep I lay in child-like fear and saw 5:00am before sleeping again.
 
*****
 
My work situation is hardly tolerable. A relatively minor yet restrictive arm condition has rendered me ineffective in my job and unlikely to obtain an alternative in the near future. My attempts to ask for acknowledgement and help have been ignored. I have been stifled and left to wither on the vine. There was £4,000 in Sterling and Dollars in the house at the time and I knew the intruders would find it. No pay rises for seven years has left me frustrated and angry yet I am financially reasonably secure. My female boss was the dead woman on the floor. She has a burning animosity toward me after receiving an official letter from my Union's lawyer. She would fire me if she could but twenty nine years service and a genuine problem means she is frustrated. I will never have forgiveness toward her for her unkindness to me and I wish her ill-fortune.
 
*****
 
Anger and resentment at my present predicament have dragged me to this new low. This dream seems to draw together various powerful elements of my unease. The pure physical fear which followed in its wake however was real and profoundly disturbing. [Rest assured, dear readers, that this spell of low self-esteem is transient. My mental and physical powers will rebound and I will rise with strength and confidence to meet all new challenges!]

12 comments:

RuKsaK said...

This is pretty disturbing stuff - your nightmare might give me nightmares now. I'll sue if it does - well in my dreams anyway.

Jen said...

Dreams do have an uncanny way of speaking to us about our lives.

4005 N 24th said...

You must go and confront this Bitch privately in her office to let her know your resentment. It will help you most definitely and it may help her. If you have already tried what I said wait a while and do it again. She is being a bully and is taking pleasure from it. You can disarm her by making it clear that such behaviour is cruel and unusual and discriminatory.


Denis in Tacoma.

Perfect Virgo said...

Ruk - well it sure disturbed me! Sweet dreams and good luck with my dreamy lawyers!!.

Jen - well put, this one was speaking so clearly to me. I had no real interpretation to do.

Denis - nice choice of words, you know her then! I tried to explain myself several times to her but she is on such a different wavelength that she doesn't relate to me at all. We haven't spoken for a year now!

I intend to make my presence felt again. She is a bully and I will have some representation present.

Grace said...

Gosh, thats a powerful one. Maybe getting these things out in a dream will help purge them and let you sort them out in reality?

Perfect Virgo said...

Grace - GREAT TIDINGS! The bitch is moving on! We will get a new boss. Do you think my post may have hastened this?

I actually felt a lot better going to work today than I have for a long time. That was after writing the dream details but before the day's news. Think the tide might turn.

4005 N 24th said...

PV, you have just experienced the awesome power of collective mental focus. Prayer is another methodology of achieving this. I will write more on this collective consciousness thing when I have more time.

Meanwhile let us bid the Bitch farewell.

Denis from Tacoma......

Perfect Virgo said...

Denis - great isn't it! Her leaving card circulated and I wrote only my first name, the sycophants had of course written gushing sentences.

Good riddance to bad rubbish, I feel better already. Three cheers for collective thought!

The Flea said...

Virgo, this was a fascinating post. Furthermore, what a frightening, but curious dream. Especially the part where you cannot move or scream.

I actually just finished reading Freud's "Interpreatation of Dreams" and motor-inhibition, including the inability to speak, is very common. Good old Sigmund also says dreams are wish-fulfillment, which explains the death of your boss.

Just curious, but have you ever seen the film Lost Highway? There is a scene where the lead characters, a married couple, receive a video tape in the mail. When they watch it, it shows footage of someone walking down their hall and into their bedroom. Filming them while they are asleep. I swear it is extremely creepy -- and for some reason, your dream conjured up the same kind of spine-tingles that did.

Perfect Virgo said...

Flea - I have made a note to hunt out 'Lost Highway,' it sounds just the sort of thing to appeal to me.

The death of my boss was 'wish fulfilment' of the most fulfilling variety. For the sake of propriety I should say I am not proud of the sentiment but I do own up to it.

Recalling my dreams is rare but when it happens the scenario is often vivid. So I should read Freud too, I think.

The Flea said...

Well, if you'd like to have a head-fuck full of metaphor and symbolism, which will leave you wondering for days, I recommend "Lost Highway".

And while I'd also recommend Freud, most psychologists these days probably wouldn't.

Perfect Virgo said...

Flea - Maybe things have moved on from Freud but might still be worth a peek.

'Lost Highway' was hard to track down from the UK! Canda sells a DVD with no other features but I finally found a region free version with a 'making of' and other bonus features.

I've certainly enjoyed 'Eraserhead' and 'Mulholland' so I'm looking forward to this one. Cheers.