27 February 2005

A kind of happiness

I’m ducking under the happiness radar with recent subject matter, but quite at ease with that. In fact I prefer a mood that leans toward the sombre side, I feel creative then. People who matter to me still get my genuine undivided attention and as much humour as I can muster. I can’t afford to ignore my friends, I have too few. Even bumping along near the bottom though, happiness bursts through. I was very pleased to see this graceful sight.

One day a message of undiluted happiness will appear here. Something soft and fluffy. But will it have the same impact as a bleaker paragraph? Is it worth a go or perhaps best to stick to tougher subjects? Life is mostly about grit and determination and hard luck, so there’s the answer. I need to be reminded of all the grim things, then I have no trouble recognising those great triumphant days when they arrive.

Daily I hear people laughing and talking with no sense of proportion. Perhaps the hysterical laughter smothers an inner sadness. If it all falls silent then the bare bones of life show through and people can’t take that. Turn on the radio but don’t actually listen to it, make any noise to avoid considering the reality of life. Being born hurts, living is painful and dying is agony. Only bad news is news and My cup is half empty may be negative attitudes but do have their supporters.

The trick is to avoid falling too low and resist flying too high but when you have powerful emotional responses to events that’s hard. I received an e-mail yesterday that made me so happy it brought a lump to my throat. Such a fine line between happy and sad. As for The only good song is a sad song, now that really is true! I’m an REM fan but ‘Shiny Happy People?’ Come on!

Let’s change tack. Something stirs on my horizon and it’s creeping nearer. Soon I will start to feel excited but I’m building up to that. I won’t say anything yet but put money on it that I’m preparing a post. Watch this space, it could get happy... But heck we gotta get there first!

“Don't make me a leader, I'll lead you all wrong.
Let me just sing sad songs to right all the wrongs.”
Hope of the States – 66 Sleepers to Summer


Grace said...

Oh how kind PV, I'm glad you like the new look. Talk about perfectionism, I was on ALL day tweaking pixels here and there and still dont think its perfect. More tweaking needed. I could, and sometimes do, spend endless hours trying to produce something creative in cyberspace! Its one of my escapes I think and I get a deal of happiness from it. Mad? I look forward to seeing whats on your horizon!

Perfect Virgo said...

You mean there's still a pixel that hasn't been tweaked! We all need an escape mechanism, go ahead lose yourself in it and keep your head up.

Thanks for reading my recent pieces. Madness, happiness, horizons what next?

Grace said...

I think I'm all tweaked out for now. Its fun changing stuff! There has to be a bit of madness to keep life interesting and I darent look to far into my horizons. Never been able to.

Perfect Virgo said...

Restful colours and an elegant lily. Nearing perfection! A weekend well spent I think.

Afraid I'm forever looking to the past and that's no good either. It's not necessarily that I want to change things but that I can't forget anything. I keep memories of most of my life's experiences so fresh and strong. Hell I'm filling up.

At least I have half an eye on the horizon now and will keep you posted.

Jen said...

I really appreciate your recent visits to my blog and your keen insights that you share in comments. I have found myself reading them over and over. I will certainly be back over here!

Perfect Virgo said...

Thanks Jen you're very welcome, do come back. You caught me here today pretending misery is happiness and motorway madness is excusable. Next time I'll try to be better behaved.

Horror of horrors I spotted a typo in my earlier comments to you! The mask of perfection has slipped ever so slightly. Oh heck, I can live with it if you can.

Grace said...

Its funny I used to live in the past but about a year ago decided I had to move on, too much unresolved greif. Since then I've been in a state of suspended animation, not able to look to the future either. I sometimes wonder if the drink does that too. I'm trying too to flicker a glance at the horizon...scary though!

Perfect Virgo said...

What's coming over the horizon is life. See it coming and it won't take you by surprise. It'll still amaze you though.

Yeah it's scary Grace but so's the past. On balance I agree, try the present but scan the skies.

RuKsaK said...

I like your stuff here Perfect Virgo and will keep popping in when something new comes in. Have linked you just for that purpose.

Perfect Virgo said...

Thank you for the encouragement Ruksak. It is gratifying to know there are people viewing and reading.

Anonymous said...

Now I'm curious about the email.... and whatever it was that was stirring on the horizon... a new bike perhaps? I've skimmed over all these entries in the past and read pieces that stood out, but now I am taking slower, deeper approach.

Anonymous said...

a* slower, deeper approach!

I can't live with it -even if you can!

Perfect Virgo said...

Jane - the message told me my employer was planning to shut down my office... but a purse of silver would be my recompense. I felt a perverse happiness at losing my lifelong job.

YES! You read between the lines and heard the distance howl of a Japanese 4-stroke engine. I was indeed deep into research on the bike-buying front after a 20 year rest. It would be a further 4 months before I took delivery - I like forward-planning!

I haven't re-read some of these older pieces for ages and I am interested to see how my approach his shifted over the months.

Jane - I wriggled and fiddled with your words seeing hidden meanings but when the simple honesty hit me, I laughed out loud! Typos!

I lied - all typos bother me badly!